Hide and Seek

I'm surprised I remembered my username and password to log onto this thing...I thought I had not posted since I graduated, but to my correction, I have--just as distant as month ago. It's the Eve of Independence Day and I must say that is more than appropriate. Several houses in our neighborhood are setting off fireworks and the house across the street makes for a pretty good show. However, I think Lucy (our kitty) is scared because she's hiding under my bed.

So I'm done with training now...that's news. I've been in the office for 3 days and am praying for sanity. I'm having to remind myself that I did attend college, successfully, and am competent because I do not feel it right now. It's just a lot to take in, a bit overwhelming. However, this is where God wants me, that I know and just because it's difficult and a challenge does not mean it's not worthwhile. It's an incredible opportunity to be there, doing what I do...for however long or short I do it.

And that's what I've been thinking about a lot lately: where I am going to end up. I have so many things colliding in my head of places I want to travel to, places I want to live, and things I want to do. I don't want to look back on my life when I have white hair and am 5 inches shorter regretting what I never sought out but always longed for. Does that make sense? I want to live in a couple of big cities, desperately. I want to experience the deep city life and live like this for 2 years maybe. I was thinking New York and Boston. Those were the only 2 that came to mind anyways. And honestly, what better time to do this than when I'm young and relatively unattached? I would want to find someone to go with me though. As fun as it would be to go off totally on my one, I'd want to have someone around who really knew me. And during those 2 years I wouldn't want to get myself into a career-like job but something fun and romantic like working in a hole-in-the-wall bookstore or a cute little coffee house. Maybe I just watch too many movies. Maybe no one's lives are actually like that. But I can't deny this desire to pursue these things and how it could be an awesome ministry. My only hindrance is leaving my family...especially with a niece on the way (although this wouldn't be happening until well after she was born and at least a year old).

And lastly.....dance. I want to dance so badly!! Even if it were just taking classes! That is one thing I have always wished to do. I wish I could have been in dance when I was little. The only time I really danced was during my 4 years in high school with winterguard, and then one in-school dance class during those years. I absolutely loved it. I love performing and just feel so alive when I dance. I'm not talking trashy dance or even the different styles of hip-hop. As fun as it would be to do hip-hop every now and then, I really love jazz, lyrical jazz, and contemporary. Religiously watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' has not helped but only encouraged this.

These are all things I'll be praying about. Maybe God's will for my life does not include these things, maybe they do. All I know is that my heart desires more than what I've experienced. And on top of that I don't want to settle (I'm not now...just saying, over time.). Anyhow... my eyelids are just barely open so I should call it a night.