Project Proposal

Hello my faithful (and unfaithful) readers! (We'll get to you unfaithful ones later.)
My sister Tabitha, Laura, and I went to see Julie & Julia on Saturday staring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. I must say... I quite enjoyed the flick! Before seeing the movie I read an interview with the lead actors and Norah Ephron (director, writer) that gave a little inside look to the film. This article was not a spoiler, rather just putting a magnifying glass above the plot, so to speak. I won't say toooo much about it for those of you who have not seen it yet. I liked how both stories (of Julie Powell and Julia Child) showed their lives as married women. They say this in the article, but so many movies are about falling-in-love, or failed marriages, divorce, etc. It was nice to watch a movie about happily married couples with regular problems, working through them.

So, obviously the premise of the movie (based on a true story) is how Julie decides to blog her way through Julia Child's cookbook. This got me thinking: Should I blog my way through Julia Child's cookbook!? That was followed by a hearty NO! Who do I think I am!? Did I have a dose of crazy this morning? Okay, so my reaction wasn't really that strong, but let's face it...it was more entertaining for you to read right? But I did think, maybe I should blog about something in particular? Maybe have a purpose to this little thing I infrequently post on? The one thought I had was to read through Jane Austen's classics and blog about it as I read it...every few chapters maybe? Again, not as a spoiler for those books...just something to do.
I probably wouldn't start this until Autumn. There's something about Jane Austen and books like hers; for me they're just meant to be read in cool/cold weather with some hot cidar or cocoa.

Does anybody have any ideas? Anyone there? I think this could be fun! Sure, it's by no means an original idea and a lot of people have blogs about specific things (decorating, cooking, photography, etc.). This would just be something for me I guess (and I suppose my faithful or unfaithful readers.)

Oh Dearest...

I have been wanting Chick-fil-a lately. That blessed chicken cuisine has been calling my name for weeks! I simply have to give in to this craving...and soon. I need my fil-a!

But, this post really has nothing to do with that. It was just on my mind. (Oh sweet, sweet chicken.) I'm in the middle of watching Pride and Prejudice right now. This is arguably the best movie of all time. I praise Jane Austen's accomplishments! Oh, and let me clear something up right now: The 90 minute "recap" of Pride and Prejudice starring Keira Knightly a few years ago is not the flick I am speaking of. I am talking about the brilliant production done by A&E...the no holds barred (is this phrased correctly? I couldn't really remember), spare-no-detail account of this story. It is almost 6 hours long and absolutely wonderful. I started watching it while I was in bed last night but of course fell asleep (this is doomed to happen when you start such a long movie in the late night hours). So, I'm redeeming myself now with a Saturday afternoon viewing.

Sometimes I wish I lived back in those days..among society's elite in 19th century England. It seemed like, for the most part, they had their heads on a little more straigt in regards to priorities. Also, I love how they dressed and talked. People don't say things like "Oh Dearest..." anymore (actually meaning it). I wish we would...it's lovely (also an underused word). Tabitha, Rachel, and I used to watch P&P on a regular basis..staying up late at night and making an evening of it. It was so much fun! It reminds me of autumn, the fall.

Oh the fall. I'm so ready for the leaves to turn red and orange and beautiful colors! I'm ready for fall clothes, hot cider and cocoa, pumpkin carving, scarves, etc. I just love it! But...that's a whole other post on it's own.

And oh...happy August!

i shall pay a tribute

On this cloudy yet pleasant day I think it is more than appropriate to say HAPPY 4TH OF JULY or HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! Even though our country has it's problems, I am still so thankful to be living here, blessed in the ways that I am, we are. It's funny, it seems like for the other 364 days a year, we feel okay to "dog" America, ridicule it's leadership and comment on what we may not know much about (that part is me), but on this 1 day we remember that we have pride in our country and we really are Proud to be an American (and on goes the song). My favorite part of this colorful holiday is of course, the Fireworks. This 4th of July, I am happy to be seeing those sparkles in the sky with my main squeeze, the man I love, the man God has ridiculously blessed me to be with: Chris.



Yesterday we celebrated our 6-month aniversary from when we started dating. However, we've known each other for about 9 months. Either way.. it seems longer! God brought him a long quite unexpectedly (which is funny considering the way we met.. but really, I didn't think that was how I would meet the man I'm gong to spend my life with). I don't think I tell him enough how much he means to me and how much I appreciate all the things about him, everything he does for me. My love language is words of affirmation (just words in general I suppose). I guess I always assumed that's how I'd show love also. However, we figured out yesterday that he is really the one who is very good with the words and giving those out. I show love by acts of service and the occasional gift. I tell him how I feel but he is much better at it than I am. God knew what he was doing when he made this guy for me! I wish I could better put into words how special he is to me. He makes me laugh, so much, and sometimes the things aren't even that funny... it's just how he says them. He can get me out of a bad mood by making me laugh or smile quicker than anyone. I admire his genuine love for the Lord and his eagerness to learn and to serve. I have so much to learn from him...I am constantly challenged! Trust me..this list goes on and on but I don't want to put too much mushiness out there in the blog-o-sphere (even though as a couple, we are very much romantics). So..to celebrate 6 months together (and has it been a crazy, whirlwind, terrific 6 months), we decided to recreate parts of our first date. We ate lunch at Houlihans at Hamilton Town Center, then went to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (quite good!). He even leaned over and asked to hold my hand during it (just like our first date). Since we got a late start and spend a lot of time driving, we spent the last 6 hours of our day at the Indianapolis Museum of Art (IMA) and saw The Goonies on the terrace. (IMA has this program called Summer Nights on Friday nights during the summer where they show movies on the terrace...so fun!). Tabitha and Rusty joined us for that activity and we had a lot of fun! What a great way to end our 6 month-aversary!



Chris... thank you for sweeping me off my feet and keeping your promise to not let them touch down.

commitment issues

For all intent and purposes, the title of this post really only has to do with this first mini-paragraph. My name is Sarah and I (think) I have commitment issues.... to this blog. I think that's pretty bad; it's like having a commitment issue to myself. My intentions to post are good, the time I allow myself to do so are a different story. (For those of you wondering why I keep posting about not posting and are instead thinking why doesn't she she post? Well..that's a good question and the very one that might get me out of my slump! That, and the hope that my computer will be fixed and signing on will be exciting once more rather than a 30-minute process.)
....................
We've started a new Sunday School class at church called "Living your Life as a Beautiful Offering." It's geared towards women specifically and is taught by Angela Thomas as a DVD series. Today was week 2 but already I'm falling in love with the message (based off of the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 5). I guess the point of it all though is to fall back in love with my Saviour. Or grow in love really. I hate to admit it, but I've been in a slump. A slump of desperately wanting to spend time with the Lord and feeling Him call me to do so, but choosing to do other things instead. What's really difficult is that when I'm with other believers, I'm excited and passionate about the Word and wanting to talk about Christ! Then, when it's time to live it and do it on my own.... I'm dragging my feet. Why this dichotomy? If I know I'm in it can't I just pull myself out of it? It sounds so simple but has been anything but.

Today's "lesson" (I don't like to call it a lesson because that makes it sound less than what it is really, but for lack of a better word...) was pulled from Matthew 5: 6 which reads, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled." Fantastic! This is great news! But what do I do if I'm not hungering and thirsting for righteousness, for the Lord, but achingly want to be? This is the very question that was posed in the series. To my relief an answer was provided. I'm usually not one for "steps" and what she offered weren't so much steps as they were points of guidance, applicable and real. The one which resonated with me the most was that if we're at that point, we just need to "drag ourselves into (Christ's) presence anyways." Wow! This week I can actually pin-point instances when I tried to distract myself from the Lord's obvious tug on my heart! My excuse: It's late, I'm tired, I really just need to sleep. Proverbs 13:4 says, "The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully blessed. " I'm incredibly humbled as I write this. As often as I hope more than 4 people read my blog, I'm secretly hoping I have an empty following, because then not as many people would read what has actually been going on in my heart recently. But faith isn't to be hidden. I need mine to come out from hiding. God doesn't call me to a lukewarm relationship with him. He has so much more for me, I can't be satisfied with a simple taste.

"....Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart Lord take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above"

too tired

I do realize that on that last post there were several errors with font, coloring, alignment, etc. Grrr... I say! Grr... I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to things like that but after trying 10 times to correct it at 10:00pm I think I'll just have to let this one go. Here's to good decisions!

salute to may

First of all, I think it's necessary and important to recorgnize this day for what it is: Memorial Day. Twe salute or heros, sung and unsung, who fought long and hard to grant us the freedom's we enjoy today...being able to say so on this blog probably being one of them! The glory first and foremost goes to the Lord of course, but we recognize those men and women as well whom He chose to use. My pastor made an intersting point this Sunday in saying that Memorial Day has seemed to go to the wayside since it became a 3-day weekend. Because now that's what it is. To be honest, I looked forward to this weekend not because Monday, today, was Memorial Day, but because it meant a 3-day weekend, and a 4-day work week to follow (I had other things to look forward to as well but will mention that later). Mostly, the day is still recognized for what it is I think, but it's starting to be clouded with hoorah's for pool openings, black and white desserts for Race Weekend and some good 'ol R&R. In an age of fast pace, "have it your way," immediate gratifications, it would serve us well to remember why we made certain holidays a holiday in the first place. I just regret I didn't dwell on this more throughout the day. Note to self. ......

Well this was quite a week! It seems like it was actually the length of 3 weeks where in reality, it was the regular 168 hours long (I suppose a little more because I'm counting in today as part of last week...since it was part of the weekend 'n all). I've waved goodbye to some old and new television favorites for the season and welcomed with open arms the new season of So You Think You Can Dance this past week! As anxious as I am to see how J.J. Abrams & friends are going to wrap up the final season of LOST, I am very happy for 20 new dancers to enter my life for a few short months! I've missed Mary Murphy's crazy screams and Hot Tamele Trains! (I am pretty sure I had a typo in there but am too lazy to check it right now). As much as I love this show it makes me frustrated because I was never able to pursue dancing. I had a taste of it in high school and absolutely loved it. In a different life, I would have been involved in dance I think. The only thing keeping me from getting up in front of my t.v. and doing the choreographed dancers along with the contestants is that I would probably drive my sister crazy for the interuption and I'm sure I would not have the energy after a day full of 4 and 5 year olds.

Speaking of 4 and 5 year olds...I had 25 of them graduate from Pre-K 2 this Wednesday! I have only been in the classroom with them a few short months but it only took a few weeks to absolutely love the silly bunch! Even though graduation was Wednesday, they are still in school through the end of this week until the summer program starts. Many of them I'll see throughout the summer, and some as they stay in our building in the fall, but I'm sad to see some go as well! I have learned so much through being in this classroom! I never knew how much you could learn about the Lord through the eyes of children...most of whom I'm not sure know the name of Jesus. In their own ways, I think they are still praising and bringing glory to Him. Absolutely beautiful.

I can't end this post without sharing the other highlight of my week/weekend. I met Chris' parents! Most of my friends have not even met Chris yet...that's a different topic...but if I haven't said it enough, this man of mine is absolutely incredible. I thought that when I first met him and tried to convince myself that was just first impression maybe and it might wear off a tiny bit. But nope! God continues to bless me through him daily and I can't help but praise Him for it! I'm blessed enough to love and be loved by someone amazing. And this weekend I got to see where he gets some of that! It was a pleasure to meet his parents weekend...as nervous as I was about it. I was excited, but lets face it...meeting the parents will always have a tiny bit of nerves at least to go along with it. We all had dinner Friday night and slipped into conversation and laughing quite easily. I had the chance to have breakfast one-on-one with his Mom Saturday morning and that proved to be a real blessing. I could tell she genuinelly wanted to get to know me and that was nice. She had a lot of wisdom to share as well...thank you Cindy :) We spent more time, the 4 of us, on Saturday evening then wrapped up by going to Cincinnati today for a Reds game...my first Major League game! This family loves baseball and I'm excited to be getting into it more as well. Unfortunately, heavy rain hit in the 4th inning and we decided to go home. But it was still a lot of fun! We sat in the rain with our poncho's and umbrellas for a while before everyone fled to take cover from the down-pour. before the rain we did manage to get some good pictures! Thanks to his parents, Chris and I finally have some pictures of the 2 of us :)

Below I'm posting some pictures of today. Enjoy and see you soon!

Before the game started, on one of the upper decks

These were our seats! They were right behind home plate!

This was shortly before it started raining. I'm glad we got it in!

These $2 Ponchos were a life-saver! Too bad they couldn't cover
the whole park from the rain.

i have a blog and her name is beautiful

I decided it was time for a change. I'm reviving my life as a blogger and as such decided it was time for a template face-lift. I must say I'm happy with how it looks! Of course, I can not take the credit for it's design, only for what fills it's space (which, let's face it, is way more important : ) I am hoping that having a blog that I will actually enjoy looking at, I'll be even the slightest bit more inclined to post on it from time to time; maybe even more than twice a year! But I'll keep my expectations low to start with. I don't want to overwhelm myself early one. My goal: once a week. I will be impressed if I remember to do it this often and will be delighted if I advance to multiple postings in a week. I think I have some wonderful "blogettes" to live up to however, my sister and Amber being only two of them. I'm looking forward to this new commitment to the blog world and hope to see many more of you there with me.

Speaking of commitments, I need to read a new book this month. Chris has insisted upon Black by Ted Dekker. Once I'm done with this series, any suggestions? I am wide open, ready for your suggestions... you could say I'm an open book! Ha....oh dear, I think it's time for bed.

Nearly 6 months later...

I am back! For any of you who have stuck with me through my 6 month hiatus from the blog world...my hats of to you! That is committment! I really have no excuse for not blogging. I've just been filling my time with lots of things (one of them not blogging I guess). I really should get back here though, now that I remembered my user name and password!

So, my sister, Tabitha, has started this tag. Instead of doing "Your Top 3..." and things of the like to get to know each other, she has suggested to really get to know one another we look at our guilty pleasures. So friends...I would ask you, what is your guilty pleasure? I have to say that I have 3. Celebrity Gossip is the first...and I'm not too embarrassed to admit that; every now and then I just have to flip through that magazine in the checkout aisle or read the omg feature that all the celebrity links go to. I will also say I like High School Musical with all it's cheese! And I have been known to watch Disney Chanel shows now and then.

So this entry was just an appearance I suppose with real posts to follow. You have to start back slowly with these things ya know! Also, The Office is starting and that takes Priority (yes, capital P) at 9:00 on Thursday nights.

the most wonderful time of the year

Winter is quickly ushering its way into our lives! We just had our first snowfall! Now, I know it only lasted about 10 or 15 minutes with itty bitty snowflakes but I loved every second of it. Good things can happen this time of the year. Everybody is just a little bit different and I love it. I'm a huge romantic so forgive how this statement reeks of romantic energy but... snow makes everything more magical. I heard that somewhere once and I think I agree with it. And I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking so. I prefer to be optimistic and hope for the best, whether that always happens or not is another story.

I need to remind myself to keep that hope and optimism. The past month has been a bit of a struggle with trying to find a new job since I left my old one. Some say I should have found a new one before I left the old, but that's just not how it happened and I think that was for the best. God has used this time that I haven't been working for a lot of good things and I'm so grateful for that! I've been able to spend more time with my older sister and strengthen our relationship as well as be around my baby niece! I love her so much and it's been so exciting watching her grow up! More importantly though, God has taken full advantage of this time to grow me more and more in Him. Afterall, He knew ahead of time this time was coming for me and dare I say He planned it this way?? I think I do! I can honestly say that I'm not the same person I was when I graduated college or even started my first job out of school. The Lord has taught me so much about Himself, and myself, since then. It's been a lot to swallow, but absolutely wonderful. I've always had a hard time understanding His love for me and that it's something that will never go away. I don't feel good enough. Well, that's probably because I'm not good enough, but that's the point. I haven't been able to get around that fact and it has held me back for far to long. Enough is enough. God's love for me has nothing to do with me, other than the amazing truth that He has chosen me to be the undeserving object of that grace-abounding love. I think I'm starting to understand this (as much as possible anyways) and just accept it rather than fight it. And to be honest, just accepting this has freed me up a lot! I am so happy right now and I haven't been able to say that in a really long time. I am content with where I am! Yes, I look forward to things to come (job, new apartment, etc.) but I'm overjoyed at what He's doing in my life right now. He has brought new people in my life whom have challenged me in the deepest parts of my faith and that has been so refreshing. God has brought me those people in the strangest of ways, but I'm learning more and more that, that is often how He operates. Thank you Lord for your unexpected blessings!

So, even though I can't find a job and the finances will run dry eventually, I must remember to keep my eyes on the Lord and look heavenward. It's the most wonderful time of the year right now and I'm happy! I'm not going to let the aforementioned things distract me from where God has so graciously placed me.

Bring on the snow!

Oh Autumn..where are you?

Inside I'm chilly and crisp and perfectly content sitting with my Pumpkin Spice drink listening to jazz and soothing music before it was tainted with vulgar beats and lyrics. But outside it is warm. Yes, it is October but it is over 70 degrees outside. Oh autumn, where are you? Sometimes I think if I do everything that is supposed to be done in the fall, the weather will inevitably follow. Ah, such a naiive thought right? Fall is my favorite time of year! The leaves are changing color and it is absolutely beautiful. People have pumpkins and broomsticks on their front porch. There are signs out for haunted houses and "Trails of Terror." Come on Mother Nature, what are you waiting for?

Only God could make such beauty out of death. The earth is more-or-less dying in this season but for some reason I feel so rejuvenated. I love the crisp fall days complete with apple cider and earth tone scarves. It's a family tradition to attend the Covered Bridge Festival every third weekend in October. However, this year we have baby Ella in the house so Tabitha and Rusty won't be going. Rachel will be out of town as well so my usually CBF buddies will not be in attendance. So I'm thinking I won't go. We'll definitely miss the warm sweet biscuits and apple butter but supposedly there is a place in Indy we can get them! Anyways, the Festival is a measure of Fall for me. It says, "I'm here! Fall has officially started ladies in gentlemen; pull on your jackets!" I'll have to find a new way to get that message this year. Maybe it will come when the weather finally stays in the 50's rather than jumping back and forth between fall and the dead heat of summer.

Have any of you been to Brown County, Indiana? If not...please go. Now! This fall! It is the most beautiful part of Indiana and I dare say one of the most beautiful places in the Midwest. I'm planning a weekend there with a friend sometimes in November. However, I am in need of a quaint, splendid and affordable B&B or lodge of sorts for our weekend there. Any tips? Send them my way if you have any.

I'm off to search....

Pictures of Ella!

As promised, here are some wonderful pictures of baby Ella! They're in the reverse order of how I wante them, but that's just how they came out! Oh well...all the same! Isn't she gorgeous! She's the most precious baby I've ever seen! Enjoy... more to come. Now that I'm an aunt, this blog will be full of pictures of her! She is a very fiesty little girl, that's for sure! She has slept a lot when we've been there but as Bita said, if she doesn't like something, she lets you know right away! She makes really funny faces, as I mentioned before and she kind of sleeps with one eye open..haha. I was holding her as she was falling asleep and you could tell she was so tired but fighting it and she had one eye closed but kept the other one on me, it was hilarious. She likes to look around and see what's going on too. So here's to our curious little girl...who I never want to grow up!

She's here!!!

I'm an aunt!!!!!! I will definitely right more later and post pictures, but my little neice was born at 2:48 this morning and she's gorgeous!! She weighed 7lbs 9oz and was 20 inches long! Her name is..... Ellayna Kathleen Holt. Perfect. We will call her Ella for short though. My name for her is Ella Kate. It suits her! She has the cutest expressions already, no one can tell me it's just gas! She likes to stick her tongue out and her little wrinkled face is adorable. We think her nose looks like Rachel's when she was born. Well.. I'm off to "Blitzkreig" (spelling?) the house now as Laura called it! Praise God for this beautiful healthy little girl! Tabitha and Rusty are both great but understandably exhausted after 12 hours of labor!

Thank you Lord for bringing her here!!!!

thoughts of a random wonderer

When I was growing up I spent most of my time with my sisters and our neighborhood friends. In the fall we collected buck-eyes from the trees in the neighborhood and loaded them into paper grocery bags. Fall was the host to the annual buck-eye wars. Our two separate teams took turns sacrificing fellow team members to race down the slide, hoping to avoid welts bye buck-eyes. My mom would clap loudly 5 times at our bedroom window, signaling the end of the war (for me and Rachel at least) and the beginning of an inevitably fantastic dinner. Ah, the simple life.

I remember the smells coming home from school, whining over not-so difficult homework, and finishing putting up the Christmas tree in the time my mom spent on the phone with her sister. Life was slower then.

At what point did it start speeding up and at what point will it slow down again? …At least to a point where I don’t feel as if I am tripping over my own feet.

I was on the phone with my mom this morning and she was wondering why some of her siblings in Holland don’t call her more. She said, “People are so busy these days that they forget the really important things in life” (like family). My mom is wise and I think she’s right. The worst part of busyness is that it becomes a god in our lives. We hand over priority to the demands of the calendar and the deadlines. I might be wrong, but I don’t think this is how God intended it. I’m convicted as I write this because I know I am not exempt from my above accusation. I blame work for making me so tired I don’t have time for devotions but have no problem crashing on the couch and watching a little “Psych.” I forget to call friends who I know could use a phone call. We, I, have allowed the world to set our watches and the tics and the tock’s only remind us of how little time we have. What a shame.

At this point, someone much wiser and more eloquent would propose a way in which to rectify such a problem. However, I am not wiser or more eloquent so I must default to a call to action that is probably not all that bad. We, I, have to let God back into our lives. I’m pretty sure He understands being busy (although it really does not phase Him…praise God!!) He created the world which seems like a daunting task for a days work. That alone is sufficient for me. Oh and there’s the whole thing about Christ dying for me so I don’t have to worry about all the busy.

I don’t even really have a conclusion for all of this … much less a solution. Just a bunch of random thoughts of a wonderer.

Hide and Seek

I'm surprised I remembered my username and password to log onto this thing...I thought I had not posted since I graduated, but to my correction, I have--just as distant as month ago. It's the Eve of Independence Day and I must say that is more than appropriate. Several houses in our neighborhood are setting off fireworks and the house across the street makes for a pretty good show. However, I think Lucy (our kitty) is scared because she's hiding under my bed.

So I'm done with training now...that's news. I've been in the office for 3 days and am praying for sanity. I'm having to remind myself that I did attend college, successfully, and am competent because I do not feel it right now. It's just a lot to take in, a bit overwhelming. However, this is where God wants me, that I know and just because it's difficult and a challenge does not mean it's not worthwhile. It's an incredible opportunity to be there, doing what I do...for however long or short I do it.

And that's what I've been thinking about a lot lately: where I am going to end up. I have so many things colliding in my head of places I want to travel to, places I want to live, and things I want to do. I don't want to look back on my life when I have white hair and am 5 inches shorter regretting what I never sought out but always longed for. Does that make sense? I want to live in a couple of big cities, desperately. I want to experience the deep city life and live like this for 2 years maybe. I was thinking New York and Boston. Those were the only 2 that came to mind anyways. And honestly, what better time to do this than when I'm young and relatively unattached? I would want to find someone to go with me though. As fun as it would be to go off totally on my one, I'd want to have someone around who really knew me. And during those 2 years I wouldn't want to get myself into a career-like job but something fun and romantic like working in a hole-in-the-wall bookstore or a cute little coffee house. Maybe I just watch too many movies. Maybe no one's lives are actually like that. But I can't deny this desire to pursue these things and how it could be an awesome ministry. My only hindrance is leaving my family...especially with a niece on the way (although this wouldn't be happening until well after she was born and at least a year old).

And lastly.....dance. I want to dance so badly!! Even if it were just taking classes! That is one thing I have always wished to do. I wish I could have been in dance when I was little. The only time I really danced was during my 4 years in high school with winterguard, and then one in-school dance class during those years. I absolutely loved it. I love performing and just feel so alive when I dance. I'm not talking trashy dance or even the different styles of hip-hop. As fun as it would be to do hip-hop every now and then, I really love jazz, lyrical jazz, and contemporary. Religiously watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' has not helped but only encouraged this.

These are all things I'll be praying about. Maybe God's will for my life does not include these things, maybe they do. All I know is that my heart desires more than what I've experienced. And on top of that I don't want to settle (I'm not now...just saying, over time.). Anyhow... my eyelids are just barely open so I should call it a night.

sarah in real life

Yes, the title of this post is a play off of the movie title "Dan in Real Life." However, Dane Cook is not my brother nor do me and a sibling have a common love interest!

Speaking of interest, my life has definitely taken a interesting change in the last 2 weeks! After 2 weeks of not-so-much-going-on, I started my first job as a real adult. I've been in training as a family case manager for 2 weeks now and I can't believe it has only been that long! It seems as if I have been there for a month already. Training is definitely exhausting as I am in "class" basically for 7.5 hours a day learning about....everything really. Thankfully this past week was a lot of review of topics I studied in my last couple of semesters. It was helpful to go over them all again though, especially in this new context.

If you know me or are around me I can fill in any details of my world at work so I won't bother including them here. But I can say that everything is just happening so fast! I've a graduate for aabout a month now (wow..that was the first time I realized it was a month ago!) and it just feels so strange. Life comes at ya fast I guess. And right now it is all in a period of transition...trying to find my place at home, work, and church. It's especially different at church because I'm really the only on my age there. There are a couple of others but they won't be around much this summer and still have a little bit of school left. I have really enjoyed being in my sister's life group (my life group??) but am wondering if it's the right place to be. I don't want them to feel like they aren't having their "own thing" anymore or move in on the security and cohesiveness already existing in the group.

Anyways, just some things I'll just have to work through I guess. Looking forward to it!

i wish i had a time machine

I wish I had a time machine. Why? Because one year ago today I was in Peru. Peru, South America that is... not the Peru in Indiana. And I cannot believe it was a year ago. I miss it so much! As exciting as this summer will be in transition, I have a feeling it will be a very difficult one as well. I spent most of May 2007 in Peru and then June-August in New Orleans. It sound silly, but I forget what summer is supposed to be like here! I can't stop thinking about my Peruvian friends, including Katie who practically is Peruvian anyways. What are they doing? How can I be praying for them? Are they well? Are they walking with the Lord? So many questions left unanswered. It's hard to be away because Peru felt so much like home. I was not home-sick (sadly, a familiar thing when at college at times) and was definitely not ready to go back to American soil when our plane tickets said we had to. I made a Peruvian-dinner for my family the other night and it was the first time I ate it with people who were not in Peru with me. Again, this seems silly I know but it really hit me. Life is moving fast and I'm told it only picks up speed from here. In some ways, that is great, in others....utterly terrifying.

When it comes to the "anniversary" of when I got to New Orleans, I'm sure those months will be just as difficult. I haven't seen most of them since, even though I regularly keep in touch with most of them. They were my family for 10 weeks and I miss them dearly. Thankfully I'll see some of them at Sarah's wedding in July, but it will be different.

I know these were parts of my life I have to remember fondly, look to for the lessons I learned and more or less move on. I'm fine with change for the most part. I just don't like leaving people behind.

post pomp, post circumstance

It happened. Graduation happened and I can hardly believe it! I have about 2 weeks until I start my new job and it seems like life is just moving so fast! Part of that is scary is but so exciting at the same time. I've heard it said that even though it seems like this is a new "era" of our lives, when I look back these years will more so blend in with those I spent in college. That's a bit depressing to hear just because this seems like a whole new part of my life. And it is but maybe not as much as I think it is. Regardless, I'm pretty excited to see where I end up next. Between now and starting work (and hopefully beyond that) I plan on doing a lot of reading... for fun! Oh how I have missed novels! I even went to the library today and picked out a couple...which was not easy! I wanted to take them all home to read! I thought about starting from the A's and just going through all of them; however, I figured that would take forever and I should just decide to pick out ones I know I'd like and go from there. I love to read and have really missed getting lost in the stories for the past 4 years (so I have read some on breaks, etc..but who am I kidding? I was in college, my textbooks were my novels, sometimes not even then).

Also, I am very excited to be getting involved in my home church more. I absolutely love the family I have there and deisre to serve them better. I went to my first "official" life group with Bita and Rusty last night. I have gone to a lot of their life group activities but last night was the first time I was there on a regular night, participating in the discussion of Sunday's service. It was great! It was so awesome having that fellowship with other young people and to reflect on the Word. I can't wait for more times like this and only hope that those who were not there last night will welcome me just as much.

I have a lot more on my mind I could write but it would not make sense nor be very organized. So we'll stop there for today.

pomp and circumstance

Pomp and Circumstance has been around since 1901. That's a long time for a graduation-exit piece of music although I'm sure it was not used as such for its tenure. Regardless of any of that, my life will soon be graced by pomp and circumstance (or a hymn perhaps?). Graduation is in 3 days and I can hardly believe it! I had my last final at 8:00 this morning and left an hour later with a huge smile on my face. I'm done. I am finally done with college! It's sort of unbelievable. I mean, it went incredibly fast but at the same time I have lived within the walls of this campus for 4 years and that is a pretty big deal. I don't know what to expect at 12:00 Saturday, officially an IWU alumni. That fear-filled lack of expectation is the same filling that sends electricity through me at the same time. I am excited beyond words. I cannot wait to discover what more is out there and where God will be taking me next. I have absolutely no idea what is happening after Saturday but I am happy nonetheless. I don't even have a job lined up, not because of a lack of searching by any means; I just suppose it is not God's timing yet. There are so many things that lay ahead...

Past graduates (oxymoron?) have said the biggest struggle and change to deal with post-graduation is loneliness. That surprised me in a way but it makes sense. However, I wonder how that will be different for me. I can recall several times when I was truly lonely while at IWU. So many times when companionship was far away and all I could do was be quietly with the Lord (okay, sometimes not quietly..sometimes loud sobs!). Maybe its naive of me to think I won't be lonely but I am just really looking forward to change. I love the people here and will miss my friends dearly but I can't wait to learn new stories and meet new faces.

There's a pretty big world out there.

Just another quick post...

I've always loved and appreciated art. Love it. If there was one thing I could be good/better at it would be art in all it's forms (painting, drawing, graphic design, sculpting, photography, etc.). Well, I've been playing around with photography a lot over the years and was really excited when I got a new camera for Christmas. It has more options for shutter speed and the like so I was anxious to use it. I've used it a lot since and produced some pictures I'm proud of. Now, I know the picture you see here may not be award-winning but I am proud of it! I took it Tuesday I believe. I was sitting on the couch under the window in my room. The picture is of some flowers I have laying on my window-sill and next to it is a small glass of water, the bubbles visible.

America for Granted

Chapel convicted me on Wednesday. A girl spoke, a senior as well, who has only been in America for three years. She grew up in Nigeria and became a Christian at a young age, literally hiding it under a blanket from her Hindu family. As she grew more in her faith with help of the principal of her Christian school, Leena's desire to go to America grew stronger. At only 7 or 8 years old she knew she wanted to go to the U.S. As she got older and started thinking about college, she knew she wanted to move to Ameria but her parents refused it. "You can move anywhere else; you can go to Australia or England but not America." Leena continued to pray, knowing God was calling her to the States. Then a miracle happened. One monring, her dad woke her up and said he would let her go to college in America and would go with her to get her settled. Amazing! A heart of stone began to turn. Leena found about about Indiana Wesleyan (where I attend) through her principal who had a son attending there. She had heard about it previously from someone on a bus in London! Of all places to hear of small IWU!

Anyways, Leena was accepted to IWU and came in the fall of 2005. God has really worked in her life since then and in her family's life. There were two parts of her story that really moved me however. She has been faithfully praying for her family's salvation for 9 years and has just recently begun seeing God answering those prayers with her father and sister. Do I have that kind of committment? I haven't prayed that long for one person, or persons... ever and I feel so ashamed of that. I have people I want to pray for, for that long but I don't. And there is no good reason. No, no reason. Secondly, Leena commented on one of the first things she recognized when coming to America, Indiana nonetheless, in the friendly Midwest. She was excited to be here and be able to go to church for the first time, read her Bible openly, etc--all things we take for granted, among other things. Now, having been here only 3 years she is starting to notice how she takes these things for granted as well. My thought: look what we have done to her!! Hearing her talk, the Lord radiates from her and you can see His love through her, but being in America has tainted her, weakened appreciation and fervor. What is it about our culture and society that has this effect? Why are we do quick to ignore what some fight so hard to keep?

These are all things I've heard before and have been grateful for but rarely taken deep to heart. something about Leena's story though moved me in a different way. I felt with her and nearly cried in happiness for her. Lord, I do not want to become calloused. I do not want to forget what I'm so thankful to have. I do take for granted the comforts you have provided for me. Forgive me Lord...it is not what I want to do.