I choose

Life throws you curve balls and you're supposed to knock them out of the park. Got lemons? Make lemonade. I'm an optimist, I really am. But I won't lie that sometimes its hard to see the forest from the trees. We have these cliches and they're supposed to make you feel better when all they really do is remind you of where you are, or where you are not. Life is happening so fast. I feel like it was just yesterday when Rachel and I were playing at the park behind our house and hearing Mom clap five times through our bedroom window, signaling that it was time to come inside. Now I'm 22 (it is still weird saying that) and sometimes wishing Mom would still clap to call me in for the night. Because it was simple, predictable, and safe.

I know I'm just going through a rough time right now. Not all my days to come will be marked with wondering and confusion, this I know. For anyone who may have stumbled upon reading this, particulary those who do not know me, please know that I am a happy person. I love life, I love my life and it takes surprising little to make me happy. I am just asking a lot of questions right now. I suppose my life is not where I thought it would be. Yeah, I knew I'd still be in finishing college at this point, things are just different. Tabitha met Rusty in college, they dated and were engaged by the time she was 21... and if this was 2002, she'd be getting married in 4 months. I guess I just thought things would happen for me in the same way. I've always looked up to her, admired her and tried to be everything she is. I suppose (what is synonym for this word?!) I was waiting for her path to happen to me. Again, don't get me wrong. I'm not pining after the love of my life, wondering where he is. More just thinking through things and wondering what will mark my life. What will people remember about me? What will be my legacy?

But, today, what remains of it and the tomorrow's to come, I chose to put on a smile, pick myself up by my boot straps (although I'm wearing flats) and take what comes my way. Life is too short to forget the good things. Sure, I'll ponder the greater questions of life, putting my intellect to the test, but I need to, I have to, choose to do it with a smile on my face.