Everlasting

I've been realizing lately how easy it is for Satan to attack me. When you are not building up defenses it is pretty easy to break down the borders. With the chaos of my life swirling around me, I have settled for mediocrity in my faith. I'm ashamed even as I write this because it is not the desire of my heart. I desire so much more. I know I am made for more. Sometimes it's as if I am just waiting for my life to start, which will be as soon as I walk across that stage in three weeks. What a lie. That's probably one of the biggest lies we can be fed. God has plans for me right now, in this environment and I'm blind to them.

As I sit here now, I'm listening to worship music and craving the Lord so much! I was talking to a friend today and she was saying how much the Lord is working in her life right now. She has seen how He has been pursuing her and growing her in her faith. Amazing! I praise God for that but am also a bit jealous. Jealous because I'm not doing all I can to run hard after the One who I call my God. Life has gotten in the way. Homework and the play have taken precidence. And even friends. These are all good things but not what I should be placing absolute and ultimate priority on. My life wedge is growing dull. Coming in as a freshman, we were taught about our life wedge and challenged to think what was at that tip? What is driving us breaking into all other surfaces of our life? As students we joke about the life wedge and thus World Changers also (you just have to be at my university for that to make sense, I am NOT knocking people who are world changers).

I look forward to every day after today where I can start over and live with a faith that is on fire and passionate. One where I am striving to put the Lord before all else--tasks, activities and people. I'll mess up from time to time but vow to get back up again. "Your will above all else, my purpose remains. The art of losing myself in bringing you praise. Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Neverending, Your glory goes beyond all fame. My heart and my soul, I give you control...consume me from the inside out, Lord. Let justice and praise become my embrace to love you from the inside out!!"